From Army life to 100 children: Pam and Pete's legacy of love

As Armed Forces Week shines a light on the dedication and service of military families, Pam and Pete’s story is a powerful reminder that service can take many forms. After Pete left the Army 34 years ago, while continuing in the Territorial Army, the couple chose a new path, opening their home to children in need and going on to transform the lives of more than 100 young people through fostering.

Their journey began when Pete left the Army. Still serving in the Territorial Army at the time, he and Pam were starting a new chapter - one that would soon transform not just their lives, but the lives of over 100 children. For Pam, the decision felt like a natural one. She said; “I’m one of nine children. I’ve always been used to a busy, noisy household. It just felt right to open our home to more children - especially when we had the space to do it.”

Inspired by her sister, who was already a foster carer, Pam and Pete took the leap. But nothing quite prepared them for what they would experience. “Those early days were a real culture shock. I hadn’t fully understood the trauma that some of the children had been through. It was heartbreaking. Some would arrive with nothing - no belongings, sometimes not even clean clothes. That stays with you.”

Yet what began as a shock quickly turned into a calling. From the moment children stepped through their front door, Pam made one thing clear: they were family.

“I always said, as soon as they come into our home, they are part of the family. That’s so important for them to feel safe and secure.”

It truly became a whole-family commitment. When Pam and Pete began fostering, they had four children of their own with the two younger ones still living at home - children who grew up sharing their home, their parents, and their lives. Looking back, Pam believes fostering shaped them for the better. “It opened their eyes to the wider world. They met children from all different backgrounds and experiences. I think it made them more understanding, more compassionate. My son went on to become a teacher, and I truly believe those early experiences helped shape that.”

Even now, as adults, that sense of family continues. “My children have cots and spare beds in their own homes and when we go to stay, the foster children come too. They’ve always just been part of our family and they always will be.”

Pete’s military background also brought something special to their fostering journey.

“Being from the Army, we were very organised and structured and that routine really helped the children feel safe. Pete would often capture their imagination with his stories. He would share his adventures - all the places he’d been, the different cultures he’d experienced. For the older children especially, it gave them something to think about. It helped them see that there’s a bigger world out there, full of possibilities.”

Over the years, Pam has seen first-hand the incredible difference a safe and nurturing home can make - sometimes in just days. “You can see the change in them so quickly,” she said. “Sometimes within a week. When a child feels safe, when they know they are cared for - it transforms them.”

But she is also honest about the challenges. “It is hard work. And it can be emotional. You hear their stories, and you can’t help but be affected. But you have to remember not to be judgemental. Many of the parents have been through trauma themselves.”

Maintaining those family relationships is something Pam has always seen as vital.

“All the children miss their families and that is something you must never forget. Spending time with their families is an important part of fostering - it’s about supporting everyone.”

Through it all, Pam says she has never felt alone.

“The support from Foster for Plymouth has been amazing. I’ve always had brilliant social workers - people who are there when you need them, who answer the phone, who support you every step of the way. I’ve never felt isolated.”

Now, as Pam and Pete begin to think about retirement, they are caring for two babies who will soon go to their permanent homes. It feels like a fitting final chapter.

“I have loved every minute. It’s been an incredible journey.”

And her message to others is simple - especially for those from military backgrounds. “Do it! I can’t explain how rewarding it is. And for military families - you have something extra to offer.” She reflects on her own children’s experiences growing up with a parent often away. “They understood what it felt like to miss someone,” she said. “In a small way, they could relate to what the foster children were feeling. That empathy really matters.”

After more than three decades and over 100 children, Pam’s passion for fostering remains as strong as ever. “I can’t speak highly enough of it. If you’re thinking about it - just give it a chance. It could change a child’s life. And it will change yours too.”

All our carers receive a comprehensive package of support including 24/7 support and guidance, generous financial allowances, Council Tax discounts, training and development opportunities, regular social events and peer support.

To be a foster carer, you must be over the age of 21, have a spare room and be genuinely invested in the wellbeing of children and young people.

We are sponsoring the pre-school entertainment at this year’s Armed Forces Day on Saturday 27 June. You’ll find the team in their dedicated marquee on the Hoe Promenade. The team will be on hand to answer any questions about fostering, and everyone is welcome to come along and say hello.

Get in touch with Foster for Plymouth to find out how you could make a life‑changing difference for children and young people in Plymouth.